[1] #22: Conquering Candy Land

Deciding to start a load of laundry after midnight does come with a morning-after tax on both body and brain, but having a few key tricks up your proverbial sleeve can make the experience surprisingly enjoyable. Bare necessities: clothing to launder, detergent with which to clean said clothing, a Best friend, half tub of the highest quality President's Choice ice cream that $3.50 can buy, two large sofa cushions and Candy Land... Juniour.


The rules of this game are classic: pull a card, move your pieces. The "bad guy" in the game is identified as Lord Liquorice, who can force you to miss a turn by gluing your little gingerbread-feet to the square (Muaaahahaha!), but it quickly became obvious that the real power in the game is wielded by the oh-so-innocent appearing pink cards, each printed with a different confectionary treat. Oh how you learn to long for the chocolate truffle! Oh how we feared the dreaded cupcake card! Even with these potential stalls lurking in the deck, there was little challenge to this "Ages three and up" game (both of us lapping Hasbro's invited players by a double-decade). In fact, Wiki puts it this way:

"Due to the design of the game, there is no strategy involved - players are never required to make choices, just follow directions. A "winner" is predetermined only by the shuffle of the cards."

A game without strategy?! Perish the thought! We invented some.

Advanced Rules for the (Much) Older Child

1. Ending the game must be played out like the game Sorry: (your piece must land exactly on the green square before proceeding to the Candy Castle, otherwise you must play in reverse from the ending and go backwards back down the Jolly Rancher trail); once a character is securely across the rainbow drawbridge, it remains there safely - impervious to Lord Licorice's sticky threats or the dreaded cupcake card.

2. You must always play with two characters, and must always draw two cards; if required you can substitute in Monopoly pieces, dice, pennies or actual gingerbread men for more characters (as long as they are small). Cards can use together on one piece or split between two, like backgammon.

3. You must win as a character TEAM: successful crossings over into the Castle have to be back to back, without the other player getting one of their guys in. If it's a "draw" (I get one in then Jaleesa, then I do again), you have to start the whole thing over… but, if someone does achieve a double victory (I get two in right away, or I get one then Jae, then Jae again), happy dancing is wholeheartedly encouraged.

It was everything I had hoped it to be

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